A Poem for You
by Trancy Phantomhive
Summary: In which Zero learns that Kaname likes poems and is seemingly forced to write one. /Slight Zero x Kaname or KaZe and OOCness of characters, Oneshot, Crack!fic. Rated M for safety./


**Disclaimer: **_I am not Hino-sensei, therefore I do not own "Vampire Knight" or anything related to this manga, game and anime._

**Author's Note:** _. . . How do I explain this oneshot? Well, for one: It's pretty random. Two: You may or may not like it. Three: I should rate it 'M' for safety reasons, shouldn't I? Four: I'm sorry if it's crappy; this is one of my attempted humours. Regardless, enjoy reading. ^^'

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_**"A Poem for You"**_

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It was a fine, peaceful Monday morning. There were bloodthirsty vampires roaming the school grounds of Cross Academy, Vampire Hunters trying to kill them with their weapons, students running for their lives and screaming for help, and Kiryuu Zero and Kuran Yuuki were seated in their usual classroom, together with Wakaba Sayori.

The two prefects didn't care much on what was going on outside (they do care, but they received an _absolute_ order from Kurosu Kaien to _not_ leave the room until the commotion was over), for they know that the Vampire Hunters were well able to deal with them (as much as Zero wanted to join in the fun). Yori thought otherwise.

"Hey, don't you guys think it's getting rowdy outside?" asked Yori in her typical deadpanned tone, looking out the window.

There was a Day Class girl running in panic on the grassy ground, who then stopped to ask for help from Yori. But, as the tawny-coloured hair teen was about to stand up and open the window, a vampire _glomped_ on the poor girl and sucked her blood dry. It then proceeded to hunt other students, completely oblivious to the fact that there were three of them nearby, inside the classroom, watching.

"Were you about to help her earlier, Yori-chan?" questioned Yuuki, after a minute of silence. She was sitting close to the edge of the desk, back hunched slightly, an elbow prompted on the desk as she leaned her head on the back of her hand. Whilst the other hand was lying on the desk, twirling a pencil between her fingers to indicate boredom.

"No," came the monotonous reply. Yori walked back to their desk and sat quietly, cracking a book open. "I merely wanted to tell her to keep off the grass. She was breaking one of the Academy's rules."

"Oh," muttered Yuuki, looking behind to see Zero blankly looking at the board. She sighed, rising from her seat and approaching the silver-haired male on the desk abaft.

"Zero," called out Yuuki, shaking the aforementioned male's shoulder gently. When she got no reply, she tried shaking him harder. Still no answer, she began to hit him with a thick textbook from Zero's table. Getting irritated, Yuuki whispered in a deadly tone next to Zero's ear, "Kaname-niisama is here."

Snapping out of his presumably deep thoughts, Zero's head perked up in response and dug his hand inside his uniform top to retrieve . . .

. . . a bouquet of red roses.

Zero stared at the bouquet in hand in horror (and affection?), putting it back inside his uniform top as he took out his precious Bloody Rose and aimed everywhere—to convince Yuuki that it was _not_ what she thought it was.

Yuuki's eyebrows began to twitch abnormally as her mind went through the different possibilities on why her crush—er, _friend_ had a bouquet of roses. She sighed dejectedly, clutching her hair in frustration and began to shout like there was no tomorrow, "Marvellous! As if Aidou-senpai admiring Onii-sama like a fan-girl isn't enough, there goes Zero, wooing my brother! What is with men these days? Rijichou and Yagari-sensei are in a relationship, making out whenever they see each other and do God-knows-what! Shiki-senpai and Ichijou-senpai are acting like husband and wife! Kain-senpai and Aidou-senpai are having sex every day—not night, since they have to attend school! And Zero . . ."

Yuuki sobbed, wiping the uncontrollable tears flowing out of her eyes with the back of her hand, "Zero wants my brother in bed! How many times must I witness you, of all people, masturbating and exclaiming Onii-sama's name in pleasure? This isn't right!"

Yori closed the book she was reading and put it on the desk gently. She stood up to comfort Yuuki, enveloping the crying girl in her arms and whispering soothing words in her ears as she pet her long, silky, chocolate-coloured hair affectionately. "Come, Yuuki, let's go to the infirmary and . . . continue where we left off last night," Yori said, loud enough for Zero to hear as she lead the distressed female out of the room.

Yori glanced back at the frozen Vampire Hunter and said in an icy tone, "You don't know what you're missing. I'm sure you'll regret your actions one day, Kiryuu-kun."

The door shut behind them, leaving Zero to visualise whatever those two girls might be doing in the School Infirmary. He shook his head, erasing the thoughts in his mind, but found himself . . . _dreaming_ about Yuuki and Yori having—

"Gah! Snap out of it, Kiryuu Zero! That's _very _unhealthy! Surely, that's not it, is it?" he hissed, trying to calm little Zero down underneath his trousers. He really should learn on how to control his (delicious) fantasies.

A whole three hours had passed, and Zero found himself bored, looking out through the window and hearing the screams of people dying. He didn't really care anymore, those Level E's could have as much fun as they could possibly have before facing their doom. The thought of him murdering those vampires with his (awesome) Bloody Rose escaped his mind as he could no longer feel the adrenaline coursing through his blood.

Suddenly, the door creaked open and came in a refreshed-looking Yuuki with a dull-looking Yori on her heels.

Yuuki skipped happily towards Zero, a sickly grin plastered on her face. Zero tried very hard not to twitch at the sudden change within her. But this was Yuuki he was talking about, and this was normal, in her case.

"Zero, look, I'm sorry for my sudden outburst earlier. I didn't mean any of them—despite them being the truth—and I hope we can still be friends, can we?" Yuuki extended a sparkling hand (because she was covered in 'sparkles of happiness') toward Zero, which the male hesitantly took. She shook their hands in enthusiasm and sat beside him, circling an arm around Zero's shoulder (or, at least, tried to as Zero had broad shoulders).

Suppressing a shudder, Zero attempted to ignore Yuuki's super bright smile by burying his face in a thick textbook.

Yuuki, upon recalling earlier events, nudged the silver-haired teen on the side to get his attention. The male looked at her warily as though she was a bomb set to explode in any given time and asked, "What is it?"

The smile on Yuuki's face widened, if that were possible, and said in a sing-sang voice, "I know something that Onii-sama likes best. He _loves_ poetry, and it would delight him so if you wrote him one of your own."

". . . A poem?" Zero stared at her, as if she had grown two new heads. That's a crazy idea! Him, Kiryuu Zero, the hottest Vampire Hunter alive, _write _a poem? How absurd . . . yet a good idea.

"Hmm-hmm!" Yuuki nodded enthusiastically, joining her hands in a prayer. If this was what would make Zero and her darling Onii-sama happy, then why not? Besides, Kuran Kaname was showing some signs of _love interest_ towards the silver-haired male.

"Why are you even doing this?" Ah, questions, _questions. _No matter how much it annoyed Yuuki, she would still answer them, because she was _Kuran Yuuki_, after all.

"To make both of you happy."

". . . Why? I thought _you _love Kuran," Zero was almost afraid to ask, seeing the smile on Yuuki's face faltering. He knew how much it irked Yuuki, as much as it irked him, when people continuously asked questions like an idiot.

"I _did_, but I found someone else! Yori-chan and I are made for each other, as you are for Onii-sama." _Although he kept on saying that I was born to be his wife a long time ago, I think he grew tired of me as I, well, grew up like one of his annoying fan-girls._

". . ." Zero sighed, taking a blank sheet of paper and a pen in front of him. He didn't want to hear any more of _'Yori-chan and Yuuki's lovey-dovey moments'_—if she was planning to share them, that was. "Fine. And thank you, Yuuki."

"No problem," beamed Yuuki, much to Zero's discomfort. He felt his eyes burn from the sensation—a horrendous sensation! "Oh, and give the poem to me when you're done; I'll tell Seiren to give it to Onii-sama for you."

"Sure . . ." Kiryuu Zero, in his entire life, never felt so uncomfortable in the presence of Yuuki and a fast-asleep Yori. He was just doing this because he was bored. Yes; that was it. It wasn't because of what he felt towards the Pure-blood Prince. It wasn't like that . . .

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"Kaname-sama," Seiren knocked on the door to Kuran Kaname's room.

It had been a week since the commotion, and yet there still were students getting killed by vampires, and vampires getting killed by hunters. Kaname knew it wouldn't end real soon; not until the whole Day Class completely disappeared.

"Yes?" Kaname answered from behind the door, opening it to meet a kneeling Seiren with a piece of paper in hand.

"Yuuki-sama told me to give this to you," Seiren said politely, still in a kneeling position.

"Thank you; you may leave now," with that said, Seiren disappeared from sight just as Kaname closed the door to read the letter.

Kaname raised an elegant brow as his eyes scanned the paper. Here it read:

_"Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_Your eyes are so beautiful,_

_And your ass is, too."  
_

Kaname smirked in amusement as he read the name of the person who wrote it.

Oh, he was going to treasure it, all right.


End file.
